Holding

Even just a year ago, already fully consumed by this love, this passion for you… I would have been shocked by this thought.

But, today my love, my sweet girl. A photo of you holding a newborn babe. And I'm flooded with emotions, unanticipated thoughts.

Of what a beautiful mother you make. Of how beautiful our children could be. Of how much I would give up to be able to bring them into this world.

But alas, it's too late. Even if our love became possible tomorrow… would either of us truly want to tread that path again? Would we be willing to face the potential complications at this stage in our lives?

Are the children we already have not enough? I know we both love them more than we've each ever loved before in our lives. Is our current full set not enough, even though none are a product of our love for each other?

Yes, I know they are. So, no… another isn't necessary. But, my sweet girl… know that seeing you holding that lovely new child has only served to deepen my love for you. To imagine what could have been… not as a regret, or even a wish. Just… peace. In the knowing. That I love you, so very much.

Yours in affection, always.